Scooperman

I must say... being 26 (almost 27) years old, you'd think that I wouldn't get too excited over ice cream... but you don't know me. I love ice cream, and for the last few weeks I've been wanting "superman" flavor... ya know the kind that looks like playdough. well, Kroger's didn't have superman, so the next best thing is "scooperman" ... : /  for some odd reason it tastes a little more like what I'd imagine playdough tastes like than the ice cream I was expecting... I guess the lesson here is that nothing is really as good as the original. There are so many times that I have found myself settling for something generic, or less than the best, just because I wanted it so badly. Patience. Maybe had I looked at a different store, I would have found the real superman icecream I was craving... Maybe if I'd seek God daily instead of other things I'd get what I am really craving. A closeness with God, something to fill the void and dull the ache that life causes. I've tried partying, relationships, material things, and none of these give me the satisfaction or feeling of fullness and content like God can and will. I have experienced so much in the last two years of my life, so many times where I have settled for behavior or feelings that I though at the time were "original" and the real deal. God has been pulling at my heartstrings for a long time and I've pushed him away time and time again thinking that if I do what I want to do, I'll be happiest. That if I choose who I want to be in a relationship with, I will be happiest. Turns out when I try to direct my life and choose my own relationships and things that I do, I'm not happiest... and it doesn't work out. I prayed to God for two years for a sign about whether I was making the right decisions with my life at the time. Looking back, God not only told me numerous times that I wasn't where He wanted me to be, but straight up hit me with a brick wall multiple times trying to warn me that only heartache and dissapointment was going to come of it all. He gave me so many signs it's unreal I didn't listen. I had so many opportunities to stop more heartache from coming. God gave me so many opportunities for a way out. It may have taken me this long to finally open my ears and eyes and heart to God, but I am glad it finally hit me. What I am most glad for is that God didn't give up on me. He continuously called out to me. He continuously warned me, tried to call me to Him. Every time I told Him no, he didn't turn away from me or leave me alone, he just came at me harder. He showed up in my mind and spirit more and more. He gave me a sense of urgency, and a feeling that it was all wrong. He was warning my spirit to run for the hills, to run to Him. At first I just thought it was a "woman's intuition" what I was feeling... no it was God, speaking to me. I always thought that for God to speak to you, you actually had to audibly hear words from a booming voice that came from above. What I have learned is that God speaks to us in so many different ways. He didn't give up on me, and He got my attention. Maybe things didn't turn out how I wanted them to, but God has a different plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11. I'm ready!